Men Equal Morons
by Wolfie Kid
Summary: Larxene is sick, and whilst Axel only means well, she's hardly that grateful. It doesn't help Marluxia's getting suspicious too... Fluffy MarLar/The beginnings of Larxel


"Oh my GOD! NOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THIS! ANYTHING BUT THIS!"  
Roxas looked over his shoulder at the noise coming from outside Axel's bedroom, then looked back at the other two, who hadn't even battered an eyelid and instead sat with their eyes locked on the TV screen, fingers almost robotically tapping the buttons on the controls.  
"Either of you going to check on whoever that was?" he asked, a little surprised at the lack of interest.  
"Nope," they both answered in unison, still not tearing their gaze away.  
"……… Could be serious," Roxas prompted a little harder.  
"Could…"  
"………….. could be a high chance whoever that was is in a life or death situation."  
"Uh huh."  
"Could REALLY need help."  
"Might."  
There was another long interval of concentration interrupted by the occasional bleeps and cheeps of an old 8-bit video game. It only ended when there came a period of more frantic button bashing, tongues sticking out in sheer longing then a spiralling of notes symbolising a game over.  
"NO!" Demyx threw down his controller and pulled at his hair with his hands. "You totally CHEATED!"  
"Looooooooser!" Axel stuck out his tongue, then yelped as Demyx launched himself at him still accusing him of hacking and ranting something like 'if this had been guitar hero the boot would be on the other foot'.  
"Guys… don't you think you should try and find out who was screaming?" Roxas tried to sigh but didn't bother continuing the sentence as it was obvious they were too busy fighting and trying to bash each other with their controllers to notice what he was saying. Patiently he sat on Axel's bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling in disinterest as he waited for the fight to stop.  
Five minutes later, Axel got to his feet triumphantly, a foot on Demyx's back.  
"Hah! Not only do you suck at video games, you suck at being a sore loser too!" he laughed.  
"No faaaaiiiiir….."  
"Alright you two…" Roxas sighed as Demyx got to his feet and tried sorting out his ruffled hair. "Are you going to listen now?"  
"Hmmm? You say something?" Axel scratched his ear as if only just noticing Roxas was even there.  
Too tired to rise to the temptation to ram a keyblade down his throat, Roxas just rubbed his forehead with a hand in frustration and said loudly, "Go check who was screaming…"  
"Fine," Axel sighed finally, before turning to Demyx. "Well, you heard him. Go check."  
"Nu uh. You ALWAYS do this! You do realise me being one rank below only means I managed to survive LONGER than you, don't you?!"  
"Yep……. But the fact remains, I am the highest rank here…"  
"Fine. Roxas, YOU go check…. I have authority over him, don't I?"  
"Indeed you do. However, I said YOU do it. That means you can't pin it on someone else, because that would be going against MY orders…"  
"Who put you in charge?"  
"You seem to forget, my idiotic rock-wannabe, that Xemnas left ME in charge while the others are gone."  
"Ptt! No he didn't! He appointed Zexion to stay in charge for him!"  
"Yes, but Zexion's gone out to read somewhere peaceful, so technically I'M the oldest and highest rank here right now, therefore leaving ME in charge!"  
"Will you both SHUT UP!?" Roxas snapped finally, clouting them both around the head. "I'LL go check if it's so damn difficult!"  
The other two exchanged a guilty glance after rubbing the lumps on their heads, then mumbled, "Sorry."  
"Uh, save it, you two." Roxas rolled his eyes but smiled a little. "Now we'd better go see what they want…"

---

It didn't take long to find the source of the scream. They'd barely opened Axel's door before tripping over the kneeling figure of Marluxia leaning over Larxene's prone body.  
"Marly? What the hell?" Roxas blinked, getting back up.  
"Oh my god! I never thought I'd be glad to see your idiotic mugs!" the man quivered with both relief and terror. "I can't find anyone else!"  
"No, Xemnas took them all somewhere for an important mission….. said we'd cause too much trouble, and left Zexion to babysit us…"  
Marluxia didn't seem to take this news well and turned pale, before sobbing, "But… what about Larxene!?"  
Pausing and finally noticing the woman Marluxia held in his arms, the other three exchanged brief concerned looks.  
"What the hell did you do to her?!" Axel snarled upon seeing she wasn't moving. Demyx cleared his throat nervously and mumbled, "I think what Axel meant was… urm…… what happened?"  
"I don't KNOW!" the Assassin blurted out desperately, almost close to tears. "We were just walking then she collapsed!"  
"Get away from her, you've done enough…" Axel knelt down next to her and easily took her from him, before getting back to his feet and carrying her into her room, Marluxia following like a lost puppy. "Roxas, go find Zexion… he'll know what to do."  
"Uh, sure…" the boy nodded strangely, before portalling away.  
"Can I do anything?" Demyx asked timidly, not liking the sudden tension.  
"Yeah, go get some cold water and a flannel… she seems to have a fever…"  
"Right on it."  
"And you…" he rounded on Marluxia. "Out with it. What the hell did you do to her?!"  
"I'm telling the truth! I was talking to her while we walked down the corridor and when I turned back to face her she'd fainted!"  
Laying her down on the bed gently, the tall pyro stared down at her for a few seconds before snapping his gaze back to Marluxia, hands on hips and eyes flashing an accusing emerald.  
"I swear… I would never harm her," Marluxia's voice came to a serious and pleading tone, his face suddenly grim.  
They each held their gaze for a while, trying to intimidate the other, before Axel sighed and turned away.  
"Well, whatever. What do you suppose it could be then?"  
"I'm not sure. I suppose it could just be sickness, but generally she's never reacted this bad to something."  
"Wait, what if it's….. errr… you know…" Axel said suddenly, flushing red. Marluxia blinked.  
"What?"  
"You know… that."  
"No I don't. What is 'that'?"  
Uncomfortable, Axel glanced around, rubbing his arm nervously before whispering, "That thing women get once a month…"  
Blanching, Marluxia twitched then looked from Larxene to Axel, before shrugging and whispering back, "Could be…"  
"Quite likely," a voice interrupted loudly, making them jump and look to the doorway, where Zexion stood, looking quite annoyed at having his peace and quiet interrupted, Roxas stood next to him. "However, it doesn't really affect them this badly most of the time. Just some stomach pains, light-headedness, yes, but not fainting. It would take a very feeble stamina for such effects to cause such a symptom, and I'm quite confident she doesn't lack stamina..."  
"What took you so long?" Axel grunted in irritation, but was unable to continue complaining before Marluxia stammered, "So what IS wrong with her!?"  
Rubbing the bridge of his nose with a slight sigh, Zexion stepped into the room and stood by the bedside. He looked her up and down for a minute or so, paced around, came back, looked at her again, then cleared his throat.  
"Well?" Roxas prompted.  
"Well…" Zexion began. "She looks perfectly healthy to me. I'm sure she just overheated and succumbed to exhaustion. She has a slight temperature, but that is easily solvable, and she's showing no signs of agitation…"  
"How do you know!? You didn't even check her!"  
"Excuse me, but I believe I'M the one most qualified to judge around here… she's fine. Just tired. Let her be."  
"But-"  
"Or are you really that keen to have her wake up and find you 'trespassing'?" Zexion smiled. The others flinched before quietly nodding and quickly vacating the room.  
They'd just shut the door when Demyx appeared at the top of the stairs at the other end of the hall, looking very out of breath with a large bowl of water and a flannel.  
"I… I got… the… stuff…" he wheezed, exhausted.  
"Did you just run all the way down two flights of stairs just to get a fresh towel?" Axel blinked in bewilderment.  
"Y…yeah…"  
"It didn't occur to you to use a portal?"  
Demyx's face just paled and after two seconds silence he swore.  
"Well, besides the Nocturne's stupidity, I think I can safely say everything is well…" Zexion concluded. "Now if you don't mind, I'm returning to my reading. Next time, don't bother me unless there's an absolute emergency."  
"Well, if that wasn't an 'absolute emergency', then what is?"  
"My room being broken into… a distress call from the Superior… anything involving potential unrest…"  
"So, Larxy's potential illness isn't going to cause unrest?"  
"No," Zexion answered bluntly, before portalling away, leaving the other four stood in silent annoyance.  
"Such a pleasant man, isn't he?" Marluxia commented once sure he was out of earshot. The other three murmured in unison with agreement.  
"Well, I guess she's okay… if Zex says so…" Axel shrugged finally, scratching his head. "I think we should let her be."  
Marluxia looked like he was going to argue but Axel shot him a look that glinted with the typical 'I'm seriously not in the mood' glare and thought better of it. He had no problems challenging Axel, but with Roxas there, he'd probably be out-numbered should he wish to start a fight.  
"I s'pose…" he sighed reluctantly, returning the glare but doing as he was told, shoving the still moody Demyx out of his way as he went to his room.  
"Hey what did _I_ do?!"  
"You exist…" Marluxia called irritably before slamming his door shut.  
"Technically he doesn't but… forget it…" Roxas sighed patting him on the shoulder. "Don't let him bother you. He's a jerk…"  
"Why does everyone push me around? It's not fair! I think I'm the most bullied person here!"  
"Well, in all honesty, you're just a born victim. You hardly ever stand up for yourself, are one of the few pacifists, and young in both mentality and appearance… so the others think they can torment you."  
"You know what Roxas? You need to work on your methods of cheering people up, cus right now, they suck big time."  
"Will you guys keep it down!?" Axel's voice hissed before Roxas could reply. Turning to see why there was such a need for stealth, their eyes widened.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Shhh! Do you want to wake her up?" the tallest hissed again, clinging to the edge of the door he'd just opened before slipping partially inside to gaze at Larxene. Demyx and Roxas stared in confusion, before suddenly Demyx giggled and nudged the boy with his elbow, inclining his head to Axel and miming a soppy face. Roxas giggled too and joined in.  
"Awwww… Axie-waxie wants to watch over his darling Larxy-warxy!" they cooed before bursting into laughter.  
"I swear you two, if I hear one more jibe about her and me, I will shave off all your hair then ram it down your throats before dousing you in petrol and setting you on fire…"  
That shut them up.  
Pleased they were listening, Axel sighed before biting his lip.  
"I don't think Zexy gave her enough thought. I mean… look at her! She's still completely out of it! What if something bad happened!?"  
"Well, Zexy is a smart guy…" Demyx stepped forward, also peering around the edge. "I think he knows what he's saying…"  
"Yeah well… I dunno, I just have a bad feeling abou- oh shoot! She's getting up! Hide!"  
They whipped their heads back around the doorframe just as she rolled over sleepily and groaned.  
She'd barely opened her eyes before she bolted out of bed and ran for her en-suite, hand clamped over her mouth. Wrenching the door open, she stumbled into it before making her way to the toilet and promptly vomited into it.  
Startled by the sudden sickness, Axel forgot he was meant to be hiding and ran in to assist.  
"Larx!"  
She didn't even seem to realise he was there and carried on being sick all the same, gasping for air in between gagging. Realising she couldn't talk right now, he slowly knelt beside her and started rubbing her back, suddenly sympathetic.  
"Is she okay?" the other two tiptoed nervously into the room.  
"Not really no."  
The sound of retching subsided and turning his attention back to her, Axel leant forward to look her in the face.  
"Better?" he asked quietly. She just shivered from cold and coughed.  
"Hey… c'mon… let's get you back in bed…" he took her arm and gently got her on her feet, shaking and clutching her stomach.  
"I'm _fine_" she growled, though it came out as more of a whine. "It's just a cold… I don't need your help…"  
"I can't just let one of my underlings go on suffering can I?" Axel smirked. "C'mon, bedtime."  
"I'll get her something to drink," Demyx piped up, before running out the door.  
"He forgot to use a portal again, didn't he?" Roxas rolled his eyes.  
"Eh, it'll keep him amused for a while, just let him be…"  
"I'm fine….." Larxene carried on protesting, teeth chattering and knees shaking.  
"Like hell you are…"  
"I AM!"  
"Say what you like, you are NOT doing anything until you're well again."  
"God… I'm f-fine why won't you just… uh…" she broke off, shuddering much more violently and Axel's grip instinctively tightened as he felt her falter.  
"See, you're getting worked up which is making you worse…" he mumbled quietly as he sat her down on her bed and took a seat next to her, a hand on her back as she started to sway giddily.  
"He's right you know. Just try to rest…" Roxas added.  
She looked up at him angrily as if about to argue but another wave of shivering took hold of her and shuddering she wrapped her arms around her, teeth chattering and whining slightly.  
"You cold?"  
"No, I'm just shaking for no apparent reason…" she snarled sarcastically, lowering head as it began to ache. Next to her Axel shifted uncomfortably, then scooted a little closer, trying to warm her up by looping an arm over her shoulder, but she shrugged him off and shifted further away.  
"Look, you'll just get worse if you don't keep warm," he explained as she turned her nose up and jerked her head away. "Don't be so stubborn."  
"Oh suuuuuure… you're doing the charitable thing of keeping me warm, cus you're such a gentleman. Get a life Axel, you friggin perve."  
"Oi! Not you too!" he groaned, rolling his eyes as Roxas burst into laughter and chuckled, 'I told you so!'.  
Pretending to still be cross but unable to hide a little grin at his embarrassment, Larxene shuffled back over towards him, trying to look disinterested and mumbled a moody, "Oh alright then… but only this once…"  
A little happy and a little bit more embarrassed, he looked up at Roxas as if asking for help but the boy simply excused himself from the room with a devious smirk and left him alone.  
Unsure why he suddenly felt nervous, he looped his arm over her shoulders again and pulled her into a hug to warm her up. The heat seemed to have an instant effect as she suddenly yawned and her eyes closed slowly as if she were about to go back to sleep.  
"Better?" he asked quietly. She nodded and tightened her grip on his coat, starting to smile in content.  
"It's quite nice, actually…" she mumbled sleepily. Hearing this, Axel blushed but cleared his throat.  
"Just don't fall asleep on me… I am not sitting with you hugging me until you wake up or I'll be a laughing stock… everyone already thinks we're……. Larxy?" he realised she wasn't responding. To his discomfort, she had already fallen asleep whilst clinging to him, despite his warning.  
"Oh… great…" he sighed sarcastically as he tried to get comfortable. This could take a while.  
Thankfully though, Demyx finally reappeared, once again out of breath, staggering through the doorway with a steaming mug of coffee.  
"I… got the… the… the………………………….. Axel: why is Larxene sat on your lap and snuggling into your chest?" he asked innocently.  
"I know what it looks like, but it's not that," Axel said bluntly. "Just get her off me without waking her, otherwise we're all as good as dead…"

---

"Oshii no hantai wa tabetakunai, Erai hito no hantai wa erasou na hito! Hantai nimo iroiro arukeredo! Dai-dai-daikiraitte chotto-"  
"Demyx will you turn that damn stereo OFF!? I barely got any sleep with Larxene throwing up last night!" Roxas poked his head out of his bedroom door angrily. However, he blinked when he realised that professional singing voice had not been coming from a stereo, but instead an utterly distracted Demyx. The older male was 'mopping' the hallway – A.K.A pretending the mop was a dance partner and swinging it around with his iPod plugged in, eyes closed and singing along loudly. The fact he was dressed only in a black tank top and a pair of sea-patterned shorts made the scene even more amusing.  
"Kurutto mawatte ikkaiten, kurutto mawatte ikkaiten, kurutto mawatte ikkaiten de Hikkurikaette wahaha!" Demyx carried on singing, completely unaware he now had an audience as he quickly dumped the mop into a bucket then did another series of slides and twirls with it. It was only after a particularly graceful twist further down the hall Roxas even noticed Axel sat outside his bedroom, a camcorder in his hands and his tongue stuck out through a massive grin.  
"He's been doing this for half an hour, and still hasn't noticed me recording him," Axel smirked, not looking up from his camerawork when Roxas came and sat beside him. "How he knows where he's mopping with his eyes closed and that music blaring in his ears, I may never know, but as long as I can film him being weird, I don't care."  
"What's he even singing?"  
"Not a clue. It's not English, whatever it is. I'm guessing the translation has something to do with spinning though, as every time he sings the chorus, he spins once one way, then once the other, then back again… I'm surprised he hasn't crashed into something by now."  
"Sounds almost like a nursery rhyme."  
"Eh, he does it a lot when he's doing chores, but never this enthusiastically."  
"He's not bad, actually."  
"What did you expect?" Axel snorted, grinning wider as he managed to catch a brief swap from mop!dancer to mop!microphone on camera. "The kid's had voice coaching… haven't you HEARD his impressions?"  
"No."  
"Heh, next time you're bored, ask him to do an impression of someone. I swear, you'll be checking over your shoulder to make sure whoever he's imitating isn't in the room. I swear, that guy's voice alone could probably rule the world if it had human form."  
The little shared chuckle between them was cut short as Demyx tried doing another spin but slipped on an overlooked puddle and he finally opened his eyes just in time to yell in surprise and hit his jaw on the marble.  
Axel was too busy laughing and shouting, "I hope to God I got that on camera!" to notice Demyx had curled up and was holding his jaw, hissing and whimpering through gritted teeth. Roxas was more on the ball though and went over to check if he was alright. It turned out he wasn't. He had bitten his tongue so hard it had bled and his jaw clicked painfully whenever he tried to open his mouth. After scolding Axel for being unsympathetic, Roxas took on the 'mother' role and went to fetch an ice pack to help soothe the pain, leaving Axel still laughing whilst Demyx curled right back up whimpering.  
Whilst Roxas was gone, Larxene appeared in the hallway: something that for the past couple of days would have been deemed an amazing feat. She still seemed incredibly pale and shaky on her feet, but otherwise looked back to her old self.  
"Keep it down, morons…" she hissed moodily, leaning heavily on the wall outside her bedroom.  
Axel looked up, stifling his laughter. "Oh hey, Larx! Feeling better? It's about time!"  
She gave him the finger but was too tired to make any verbal retort. He smiled and got to his feet, casually slinking to stand beside her.  
"Still rough huh?"  
"I was fine until you came along and ruined my day."  
"Oh so hurtful!" he gave a pretend look of hurt, his bottom lip protruding into a childish pout. "Maybe it IS your time of month."  
She slapped him. Before he'd even whipped his head back into place, she'd stormed back into her room and slammed the door in his face.  
Roxas came back with some ice and a long cloth to tie around Demyx's head to keep his jaw up, and not allow it to slacken.  
Upon noticing Axel now had a red hand mark burning into his cheek, the boy raised an eyebrow. Axel just glared at Larxene's door. Roxas got the idea.  
"Smooth, Axel. Smooth," he sighed, rolling his eyes. "Whatever you said to her, I think you'd better apologise."  
"Are you kidding? She'd use my eyeballs for trophies."  
"Better you than the rest of us," the boy reasoned with a look that screamed, 'Your fault, you go take her wrath so we don't have to.' Then, almost as if he predicted Axel's excuse before it came out of his mouth, the boy smirked cruelly and announced, "I'LL stay here and tend to Dem. YOU go apologise to her."  
Axel swore. That kid was turning into a mind reader, he was sure of it. 

---

He knocked timidly on her door.  
Upon receiving no answer, he asked quietly, "Larx…? Hey… can I come in…?"  
Again, he was ignored.  
Taking that as a 'yes', he slowly grasped the handle and pushed his way in, shutting the door behind him again. The room was quite dark. It was only because the window was open and a breeze was parting the silky curtains that any light whatsoever entered the room. He strode through the shaft of moonlight when he realised the room was empty. Through the window, he saw her, leaning on her balcony. She was lucky in actuality: only three rooms had balconies, and she was the only neophyte fortunate enough to own one of those three. Hers also offered the best view of the city, hovering a few hundred feet above the skyscrapers, hanging what looked like only a little ways from the moon, though they knew it was so much more.  
She had her back to him, leaning comfortably on the ornate white marble carvings that surrounded the balcony. Her hair was shifting a little in a chilly breeze.  
"Hey… Larx?" he approached slowly, pausing by the window, unsure what a respectful distance would be.  
She didn't turn her head but said gruffly, "What do you want?"  
"… I'm sorry… It was uncalled for… 'apparently'," he added under his breath, throwing a moody glance back at her bedroom door.  
She waved a hand lazily and sighed, "Great… now, shoo. I don't want to talk to anybody right now…"  
Had Axel half an ounce of respect in his body, he'd have nodded politely and backed off. But as we all know, respect was something that didn't seem to come too naturally to him.  
"What's troubling you?"  
She glanced up and gave a slight gasp: he'd moved so silently, looking down at her, right beside her, also slouched over the balcony rail. His head was tilted in a mixture of curiosity and a friendly posture, his eyes twinkling with mischief.  
"… Get out of my room."  
"Are you still feeling rough?" he ignored her and went to touch her forehead. She recoiled away, slapping his extended hand aside and snarled, "I'm fine! Quit bothering me! What's it to you?"  
He paused, then shrugged, looking out over the balcony. "Because I get worried about you…"  
She froze, then folded her arms, huffing childishly, "I'm fine! I'm not some fragile little butterfly you know!"  
"I know you're not. I respect you so much for that. You're amazing. You're a shining example of how an independent woman should be… It's just… you never seem to want to let anybody in. I find it kinda worrying… I mean, you've refused help all through this illness. Sure, you look and sound a lot healthier today, but… I'm certain if you'd just allowed some company, you'd have got better so much quicker."  
"Really? Because you're giving me a headache. Now get out!"  
Still ignoring her, he suddenly smiled and pumped a fist into his flat palm. "I've got it!" He whirled and poked her on the nose gently. "I'm going to take you out somewhere, to forget all your cares! To open up more to people!"  
She blinked dumbly, taken aback and gave an impolite, "Whu?"  
He didn't answer and just started laughing devilishly before, to her shock and confusion, he scooped her up under his arm and announced, "C'mon! We're going out!" before whisking them both into a dark portal, taking them both who knows where.

"Hey… where'd Axel go?" Roxas asked, poking his head into Larxene's room after Axel hadn't appeared again after half an hour. Demyx just mumbled something, then winced in pain as his jaw clicked loudly.  
"Oh…" the boy murmured, checking the room next door. "And Marluxia's gone too. Go figure."

---

"Feel better?" Axel smirked, pulling her closer as they sat on the soft couch in the corner of a club, watching the drunks dance. She just glared into space, wishing she could strike him with a lightning bolt without causing mass panic in the small nightclub. She gave a grunt of "Not really."  
"Awwww, poor Larx… here, have something to drink…" he smiled, offering her a vodka and orange he'd ordered but not even sipped at yet.  
"Are you sure alcohol is the best thing to have after a few days of being sick?"  
"Oh… uh… sorry…" he seemed a little put out and fell silent, fidgeting awkwardly, looking everywhere but her, scared of seeing her disappointed face. She sighed: well, as long as he was willing to make an effort in trying to get her to feel better…  
"Fine… but just a little…" she said finally, taking the glass and sipping at it. He perked up and beamed, proud of himself, then returned to tapping his foot to the rhythm. 'A little' soon turned into 'the whole glass', and she admitted that despite not even nearing 'tipsy' the drink had calmed her raging mind, and she was actually managing a half smile at the drunk's ridiculous dancing. Sensing her change in mood, he leant closer to her and whispered in her ear, "What say you and me show these left-foots how it's done, eh?"  
She giggled and shook her head, insisting it'd be too embarrassing, but he just laughed and pulled her to her feet, dragging her onto the dance floor.  
After mere seconds she'd forgotten all doubt and started thoroughly enjoying herself, laughing as she swayed her hips and swung her hair about to the beat, the lights flickering rhythmically over the moving crowd. She soon felt someone tall occasionally brushing past behind her, and she assumed it was Axel. However when she turned around, she met the eyes of Marluxia.  
"Somebody's obviously feeling better," he purred, chuckling. She frowned and ceased dancing, looking up at him.  
"What are you doing here?"  
"I've been following you two."  
She boggled. "You what?"  
"Listen," he dropped his voice and gently steered her off the dance floor, out of the roaming crowd and into a quiet corner. "I'm worried. That ruffian is only trying to get close to you as another notch in his bedpost, I hope you realise."  
She gaped then hissed, "Marly, what the hell!? Axel's not like that!"  
He looked genuinely disgusted and even a little fearful, pulling her to look back at the dance floor, pointing out Axel, who was dancing rather seductively with a bunch of girls, bumping and grinding against them. "Look at him! Look at him! He's like all those other boys you see around these places! He's just after a piece of meat!"  
She bit her lip but announced, "He's just being friendly to me. That's all. He's even offered to pay for all my drinks."  
"He might have spiked them!" Marluxia hissed again. "Larxene! Please! You must be alert to these things! He's just taking advantage of you, because you're still weakened by your illness!"  
"Are you calling me stupid!?" she barked angrily.  
"No! I know you're an amazing woman, who is a stunning fighter, and a master of her element! You're a great tactician, and an awe-inspiring credit to the Organization… but he is cunning, and sly, and young and ghastly! And he knows how to twist people to do what he wants! Look at how loyally he has those two blond dogs following him! He has this kind of power that can lure innocent people like you into doing his bidding! Don't fall for it, my dear!" he grasped her shoulders and shook her gently, his eyes pleading and full of utter firm horror. "I couldn't bear it if he managed to get his filthy hands on you!"  
She shook him off but her face fell into one of thoughtful tension. "I… I can look after myself. If… If he tries anything… I'll give him what for. I swear. You should go. Before he sees you and gets reckless."  
He nodded and pecked her on the cheek whispering, "Be careful…" before he portalled into the shadows, unseen by the people in the club.  
He'd barely been gone ten seconds, leaving her stood shivering slightly, when Axel's laughter came closer and she turned to face him as he stumbled out of the crowds.  
"Hey, why aren't you dancing? I know that cute tush of yours can move when you really get into the rhythm!" he laughed, making her bristle and blush bright red. She turned away from him and said loftily, "I don't feel like dancing anymore."  
His face fell gradually and he whined, "Why not!? Oh come on Larx… were you jealous of those girls I was dancing with? Don't worry, I'm sure there's a dashing hunk of man here for you to get cosy with… hell, he might even be in this very room, right under your nose…"  
She flinched again and excused herself to go to the girl's bathroom. He sighed but didn't make anything of it and just told her he'd be waiting on the couch for her.  
She spent ten minutes or so just gazing at her reflection. Her hair was a mess from dancing. She hadn't put any makeup on due to Axel's spur-of-the-moment decision to take her out with him. She just looked at her plain old face, running a hand through her hair, staring into her reflection's eyes.  
After a mental prep-talk and preparing for the worst, she straightened up and exited the room. Axel was _not_ as he'd promised on the couch. He was instead loitering right outside the bathroom doors. When he saw her come out, he looked positively relieved.  
"Man, you'd been in there ages! I was wondering whether to rush in there myself," he joked.  
She just glared at him, then announced, "I want to go home."  
"Already?! We've only been here an hour! Come on! If you're worried about getting home before it gets too dark, we could always rent out a room in some cheap hotel and spend the night together in town-"  
That did it. Still in the privacy of the bathroom entrances, she spun around, foot out-stretched and kicked him across the face, making him slam into the wall, clutching his nose.  
"What the fu-"  
She silenced him with another kick, this one to a particularly tender area. He gasped hoarsely and sank to his knees just as she delivered an uppercut. His head slammed back into the wall and he was left slumped and reeling on the floor outside the men's. Then she ran. 

---

She knew he was expecting her to portal straight home. So she knew that was the one place she couldn't go. Instead, she ran out into the street and caught sight of a bus that was just about to close its doors and pull away. With a burst of speed and a loud, 'Wait!' she managed to jump aboard before the vehicle went on its way. She paid hurriedly, telling the driver to keep the change, then slumped into a seat near the front, resting her head against the window. She didn't care where the bus would take her. She could always portal back home once she was sure he wouldn't pursue her.  
She just needed time.  
Night wore on.  
She dozed on and off. On and off. People came. People went. Lights went red. Lights went green.  
She'd lost count of the stops when suddenly, she felt someone sit next to her.  
She had only half turned to face this person when suddenly she was engulfed in a loose hug. She felt crimson spikes tickling her chin as their head rested humbly bowed into her neck.  
"… Whatever I said. Whatever I did… I'm so. So. Sorry," his voice trembled, barely audible over the noise of the bus' engine. She was too shocked to find her voice, and he took a terribly shaky breath out, before whispering, "I'm so. So. So. Sorry. I'd never hurt you. I'd never want you to think I'd hurt you. Whatever I did to you, I'm so sorry… so… so… sorry."  
Struck dumb, she numbly lifted a hand, then awkwardly patted his back, not sure whether to scream at him or take him in her arms and tell him she was the one who was sorry. Sorry for ever doubting him. Sorry for being such a bitch. Sorry for not realising he was right: she had needed the company.  
He still held her, though his grip tightened, barely noticeable, but she was aware he was clinging now. "I respect you so much… I'd never want to harm you… you're… you're just so… b-beautiful… I admire everything you do… I'd… I'd never hurt you… please… I'm sorry."  
He lifted his head. He was a sorry sight, with a black eye and dried blood on a small cut on his lip. He had a huge black bruise where her boot had smacked him in the face. She would only guess how much just talking was hurting him right now.  
His mouth trembled, as if he wanted to say something else, but the words wouldn't come. He lowered his head again and rested it on her shoulder, breathing raggedly.  
Without warning, she stood up, making him pull back. She'd pressed the button to stop the bus and said loudly to the driver, "This is our stop."  
He crumbled, defeated, and miserably whined, "I… I'm sorry… just… I understand you want to be alone… but please… forgive me."  
She rolled her eyes but smiled, "Weren't you listening? I said this was _our_ stop. Mine and yours."  
He looked up at her hopefully. She held out her hand as the bus came to a slow stop. He looked at it as if it was the most beautiful thing on the planet, then took it, beaming up at her in utter relief. 

---

They returned together outside her room, but to his surprise she invited him in. Once inside, she'd sat him down on the edge of her bath and rummaged in her bathroom cupboard for some ointment and wet wipes.  
After a short period of cleaning his cuts and applying cold to his bruises, she gave him a rare hug and whispered, "Thank you."  
"What… for being such a good punch bag?" he murmured softly, chuckling. She rolled her eyes and muttered, "Idiot…"  
"Every princess needs a court jester."  
"If I'm a princess, that makes you a smelly old dragon."  
"If I'm a smelly old dragon, that makes you… eh forget it… he smiled, weakly returning the gesture and wrapping his arms around her. "Just warn me or at least tell me that I'm being a jerk before beating me six ways to Sunday. Please? I don't want my charming rugged good looks getting permanently wiped out."  
"Tch, too late then. I don't think I've EVER seen you looking good," she snorted as she pulled away. He pretended to look hurt and folded his arms. "Heeeeeey, that's not nice!"  
"And what are you going to do about it?"  
"Oh… just this…" he smirked, whipping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer, practically on his lap and he buried his face into her stomach blowing raspberries, making her giggle against her will.  
"The hell are you doing!?" she shrieked between laughter. He didn't answer but instead cooed in a sickeningly patronising voice, "Who's the evilest baby in the world? Is it LarLar!? I think it iiiis! Cutey-wutey LarLar is the naughtiest baby in the woooorld! Yes she is!"  
"Nooooo! I hate being babied!"  
"Exactly! It's called revenge, doll face!" he cackled before booming even louder, "Who's a bad girl!? Huh?! Oh yeah! It's you! Uh huh! You've been a baaaaad girl!"  
Now, Axel had no idea they were both being loud enough to be heard through the wall separating her room from Marluxia's. He also didn't realise that what he was saying accompanied with Larxene's scream-like noises of 'Stop it!' and 'Let go!' meant his cooings were lost in translation.  
All Marluxia heard, to his horror, was his dear Nymph screaming him to let go, and his voice laughing about how she'd been a bad girl, and how 'naughty' she'd been.  
The door was kicked down in ten seconds flat, and the two giggling youths pulled apart in panic, only to trip over each other and landing in a compromising position… just as Marluxia burst in.  
The Graceful Assassin took one look at the scene, then proceeded to swing his scythe right at Axel. 

---

Zexion glared at the sorry sight before him.  
"I leave you imbeciles alone… _for three hours._ And this is what I return to."  
Everyone looked at him guiltily. Roxas and Demyx were supporting a staggering and bloodied Axel; Larxene was trying her best to keep a badly burnt Marluxia on his feet, and both the injured nobodies in question still threw dark glares at each other.  
"What. Happened."  
Both the accused blurted out a ramble of excuses and explanations at once, making a rabble of noise. Zexion gave an uncharacteristic snarl and barked, "Silence!"  
Everyone flinched and fell still. The Schemer bore his one visible eye into each of them in turn, then announced, "Just… shut up and keep the hell away from each other. I don't have time to deal with your stupid antics. Understand, you worms?"  
Everyone nodded, some reluctantly, others fearfully, and Zexion gave a huff of satisfaction before moodily turning on his heels and stomping back to his study.  
"Um….. oh my god, let's go get ice cream!" Demyx suggested loudly with a nervous laugh. Roxas quickly caught on and nodded vigorously, dragging Axel out of the room and into a portal before he and the Assassin could tear each other to pieces all over again, leaving Larxene sighing as she propped him up.  
"… I thought he was hurting you…" Marluxia said eventually, his voice quiet and shame-filled, though there was still some defiant sense of right in it. She rolled her eyes and sat him down, sitting beside him, mumbling, "Marly… please… I'm a big girl now. I can handle myself. If I was in trouble, I'd have been screaming a hell of a lot louder, and the electrics would probably have gone crazy."  
He swung his legs bashfully, like some child who had been so sure of an answer only to be told it was completely wrong.  
"… Yes well… I was too concerned to think clearly."  
"… He's not so bad, Marly. Maybe you should just get to know him a little mo-"  
"Forget it," the man huffed childishly, folding his arms. "I'd rather eat garbage."  
"And I thought I was stubborn," she mumbled in a low voice, sighing wistfully.  
Despite how much she tried to persuade him, he refused to change his opinion about Axel, and giving up, she left him there to sulk on the couch. After fifteen minutes being bored cooped up in her room, she suddenly got an idea and opened a portal. 

---

"Aaaaw, don't be so hard on yourself, Ax…"  
"Yeah… I mean, sure Marly whooped your ass a bit, but at least you got some hits in too, right?"  
"It's not that," the red head sighed as they shuffled up towards the Twilight Town Tower, armed with three boxes of sea salt ice cream. "It's more I thought I was finally getting Larx to open up and be friendly… then he had to come in and whale on me for no reason. That's the second time I've been beaten up without warning today…"  
"Maybe he was just over-protective of her…" Roxas smiled sneakily. "After all, people might think things… you and her… getting all pally-pally…"  
"We're just friends, Rox…" came the snarled reply.  
"Hey man, it's cool okay? We think what you're doing is so sweet!" Demyx chipped in. "I mean, spending time with her. Giving her hugs. It's okay to say you dig her."  
"For god's sake! I'm just a huggy kind of person! It doesn't mean anything! If I hugged you right now, would you accuse me of being gay or something? Geez, can't a guy be nice to a girl without being assumed to fancy her!?"  
"How defensive he's getting, huh?" Demyx whispered to Roxas, who burst out laughing.  
"I'M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!"  
"He's blushing too now…"  
"Ptttt, SO in denial…"  
"I am NOT blushing!" Axel whined, stamping a foot, but froze when suddenly…  
"Hey…"  
The three boys turned in unison, eyes wide and mouths closed in mild surprise.  
Larxene fidgeted awkwardly, nervously tucking he hair behind her ear and biting her lip, staring around disgruntled, as if wondering what on earth she was doing, sinking to their level like this.  
"Can I… hang out with you…?" she asked eventually, though her face had a slight sneer, as if 'hanging out' was 'soooooo pre-school'.  
They looked at each other, as if debating what to say. Then they exchanged shrugs and Axel mumbled, "Uh… s-sure… can we… get you an ice cream or something…?"  
She paused, a little taken aback by the generosity, then shrugged. "Uh… sure?"  
"Great… uh… h-here…" he opened his box and handed her a new one. She eyed it suspiciously, then looked at him in a similar way. Then bit into it. She shivered for just a half-second, then blinked.  
"This is actually pretty good," she mumbled through the ice cream, then took a bite, licking her lips, pondering the flavour. Her face reverted back to that of an almost child-like curiosity as she tried mentally describing the taste to herself: her eyes looking up and a finger to her lips as if to help her think.  
"_…. You look so damn cute like that…_" Axel sighed, barely audible as his mouth curled into a soft smile. He had no idea where that had come from. All he knew was that he hadn't said it nearly quietly enough.  
"Hmmm?"  
"Wha?"  
"What did you just say?"  
He blushed and said loudly, "I SAID NOTHING! C'MON LET'S GO ALREADY!" and charged off towards the tower, leaving Larxene to wonder why the other two blonds were laughing so hard, they'd dropped their half-eaten ice creams and held their sides, shaking with hysterical giggle fits.


End file.
